Getting Up The Ladder (Goin' Down the Creek)

by Rick Beneteau

The cries echo across the millennia back to our prehistoric ancestors:

"You love that stupid club more than you love me."

"You're always out stalking some silly wooly mammoth and you NEVER spend any time with me."

"I could use a little help around the cave every now and then."

Perhaps a little far fetched for our Neanderthal cousins, but whenever it was that the species known as Entrepreneurial Maximus evolved, so too the scenario was born pitting career against relationship.

Move forward to the pressure-cooker society we all live in today. How many couples do you know that had to "get out of the kitchen" when job and love met face-to-face on the battlefield of life? Too many, I know. It's a sad modern day fact of love that far too often, never the two shall co-exist.

I am living proof. I existed in that kind of relationship for too many years yielding to my Virgo loyalty and the severe illness of our second child.

Married young, my real entrepreneurial wings didn't sprout until a few years post-vows. A clear understanding of that growth was never reached. I was more guilty than she was as I did not try understanding her apparent 'lack of growth'. I just "had" to become successful, buying and toiling in a drycleaning business. And, trying to write a "hit" song in my limited spare time. Only when the business was really 'cleaning up' and I had that hit song did the understanding come. The money, my mate's only barometer for justifying the years of effort and time "away from her", suddenly made sense. But too little, too late. Our relationship was over years before the financial results were received and divorce proceedings underway.

Attempting to examine this struggle in a how-to style article is not possible. At least for me. Love and emotions can't be numbered and bulleted, let alone described. These are the intangibles of life, but as indescribable in words as feelings are, they are very real indeed. And so is the current divorce rate at nearly 50%.

But we need to at least ask ourselves what is at the heart of this dilemma. I believe it's one thing - Needs.

Human Beings are just that. The Human animal needs are basic...food, shelter, procreation and interaction with other animals of our species. Our Being's needs are far more complex. The "Sharing" of food, shelter and intimate interaction with another Being of the opposite Human sex is essential to our spiritual survival. And just as much, what our "significant other" and other beings think about us - the peer pressure we usually ascribe to our younger generation - is only the sprouted seed of approval-seeking in adults.

Now, how does one become "well-thought of" in society? Simple. Their Station in Life. The functions they provide for the survival of their fellow human beings dictates their status. In other words, their job. The more important their career and role in society is perceived, the higher up the ladder they are positioned. The higher the elevation the better the food, shelter and life trinkets they possess and can proudly show those around them.

Human Beings are competitive creatures by design and elements of both the animal and the spiritual concoct this inbred trait. So the trek up the ladder becomes a foot race to see who can get to the top rung first. Hence, the title of this article.

But it's Goin' Down the Creek we need to address here. How do we steer the ship through the oft-rough waters and arrive safely at our destination while carrying our precious people cargo? How do we blend the needs of our own being with that of the other beings in our lives without sacrificing either? There are no charts that point the way for safe passage.

What we do have as Human Beings is the capacity to understand and the ability to communicate. Understanding is the foundation and communication is the key to the harmonious survival of career and relationship goals. One without the other is like a ship without its rudder. Or, to stay truer to my title, a boat without a paddle.

Understanding the needs and the expectations of your mate is crucial to the success of your relationship but also to success in your career. Making sure you are both on the same ship and sailing in at least the same ocean is effected through regular communication. Your ability to speak "with" one another will be the anchor that secures your relationship.

I can't tell you how to go about communicating with your mate. Only you know what's works best in your relationship, the key word here being "work". As your career or business will not grow without work, neither will your relationship. As you find time to deal with the tasks to grow your "job", find time also to nourish your relationship. It's a balancing act that far too few of us have learned to master.

The true test of a relationship is not only to survive, but to flourish when one or both partners are achievement oriented. As eyes are the windows to the soul, words are the winds that can sail you and your life mate to new and beautiful destinations.

Getting' up the ladder doesn't have to be trip down the creek.

So, let me ask you, when was the last time you helped around the cave?

Written by Rick Beneteau
(c) 1998 NetProfit 2020 Inc., Marietta, GA

Rick is a partner in NetProfit 2020 Inc. Specialists in Internet Promotion, you can find the Web's Best Promotional Tools and Dealer Programs at http://www.netprofit2020.com including the World debut of REPLICATOR 2000 - AFFILIATE POWER SOFTWARE. ENTER & WIN 2 FREE I.D. IT! Plates at http://www.iditplates.com/freecontest.htm and The Millennium Clock at http://www.netprofit2020.com/clock/index.htm EZINE OWNERS: check out Rick's popular column at http://www.netprofit2020.com/TrademarkeT/rickbfreelance.htm Contact Rick at rickbeneteau@netprofit2020.com